The Diary of Etty Hillesum: Inner Strength amidst the Holocaust

Etty Hillesum’s diary, written between 1941 and 1943, offers a deeply moving and spiritual reflection on life during one of the darkest periods in human history—the Holocaust. Etty, a young Jewish woman in Nazi-occupied Amsterdam, used her writing to explore her inner life while facing the horrors of persecution. Her diary is not just a historical account of war and suffering; it is a journey of self-discovery, faith, and resilience in the face of unimaginable hardship.

In a world where many were consumed by fear and hatred, Etty chose a different path. Her writings reveal a profound belief in the goodness of humanity and a spiritual connection that transcended the brutal realities of her time.

Etty Hillesum: A Brief Portrait

Born in 1914 to an intellectual Jewish family in the Netherlands, Esther "Etty" Hillesum was a highly educated and introspective woman. In her mid-twenties, Etty was studying psychology and had a deep interest in literature, philosophy, and religion. Her early diary entries reflect her efforts to make sense of her life, her relationships, and her purpose.

When the Nazis invaded the Netherlands in 1940, life for Dutch Jews changed dramatically. Etty began her diary in 1941, as restrictions and anti-Semitic measures intensified. Her initial entries are deeply personal, documenting her romantic relationships, her internal struggles, and her spiritual growth. As the external world around her descended into chaos, her diary became a sanctuary, a place where she could express her deepest thoughts.

The Power of the Inner Life

Etty’s diary is unique in its focus on the inner life as a source of strength in the face of overwhelming suffering. She often reflects on how to maintain inner peace and spiritual growth, even as her circumstances deteriorate. In one entry, she writes:

"I shall try to help You, God, to stop my strength from ebbing away, though I cannot vouch for it in advance… It is not You who should help us, but we who must help You and defend Your dwelling place inside us to the last."

For Etty, faith was not about waiting for divine intervention but about maintaining a connection with the divine within oneself, despite external hardships. She believed that even in the most oppressive circumstances, a person could cultivate a rich inner life that could not be touched by hatred or violence. Her diary became a record of her efforts to nurture this inner world while confronting the growing threat of deportation and death.

Living with Compassion in a World of Hatred

One of the most remarkable aspects of Etty’s diary is her refusal to succumb to hatred, even as the persecution of Jews in Amsterdam intensified. Her writing reveals a profound empathy for others, including her oppressors. She often spoke of her desire to understand the nature of evil and to respond with compassion rather than bitterness. Etty’s ability to see beyond the cruelty of her circumstances, and to remain open to love and kindness, is a testament to her remarkable spirit.

In one of her most famous passages, she wrote:

"Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will be in our troubled world."

Etty’s commitment to peace—both inner and outer—was not an abstract ideal. She lived it every day, even as she faced the increasing likelihood of deportation to a concentration camp. Her compassion extended to those around her in the Westerbork transit camp, where she worked as an administrative assistant. There, she provided comfort and care to her fellow prisoners, writing letters and offering emotional support.

Facing the Final Journey

In 1943, Etty was deported to Auschwitz, where she perished along with millions of other Jews. Her final diary entries reflect a calm acceptance of her fate, but also a continuing belief in the beauty of life, even amidst the horrors she was witnessing. Before her deportation, she wrote:

"The sky is full of birds, the purple lupins stand up so regally and peacefully, two little old women have sat down for a chat, the sun is shining on my face. And right before our eyes, mass murder... The whole thing is simply beyond comprehension."

Her words convey the profound contrast between the simple beauty of the world and the incomprehensible brutality of the Holocaust. Yet, even in the face of death, Etty found moments of grace, clinging to her belief in the enduring value of life and the human spirit.

Legacy of Etty Hillesum’s Diary

Etty Hillesum’s diary was discovered after the war and published in the 1980s, bringing her voice to the world. Unlike Anne Frank’s diary, which is often read as a record of youthful innocence cut short by tragedy, Etty’s writing reflects a mature and introspective journey of self-awareness, spirituality, and compassion. Her refusal to be defined by hatred or despair continues to inspire readers today.

Her diary has become a profound testament to the power of the inner life as a source of strength in times of extreme crisis. Etty’s message of compassion, faith, and resilience remains as relevant today as it was in the 1940s. She reminds us that, even in the face of overwhelming suffering, we have the capacity to choose how we respond to the world around us.

Etty Hillesum’s diary is more than a historical document—it is a spiritual legacy. Through her words, she invites us to reflect on our own lives, our own struggles, and the choices we make in the face of adversity. Her unwavering belief in the goodness of humanity, even in the midst of the Holocaust, serves as a powerful reminder that the human spirit can transcend even the darkest of times.

In Etty’s own words, "I know that those who hate have good reasons to do so. But why should we always choose the cheapest and easiest option?" Her diary challenges us to seek deeper meaning, to cultivate peace within ourselves, and to respond to hatred with love.